Updated: Mar 29
This question is big, it brings to mind and heart both deep, ancient knowings and the trappings of our modern world. I can feel the answers revealing themselves on the outside and deep within my self. To some degree the very word woman is a trigger.
What does being a woman mean to me? My definition of “woman” continually changes as I walk along my journey in this life.
At 6, being a woman was about dressing up, wearing makeup, taking care of a family and having a job. I modeled my ideals after the women in my life and of course what I saw in the media.
At 13, being a woman was about the physical proof - Period, check. Breasts, check. Life felt foreign. No one could possibly know what it was like to be me.
At 17, aside from the hormonal urge to lust after every boy, being a woman was about knowledge, rights and equal opportunity. I didn’t have time for opinions or advice from others.
At 21, being a woman was about fun, smarts and sexuality (living that Sex and the City life). Being a modern woman - the struggle was real (or so I thought)
By this time in my life I thought I had it all figured out and knew exactly what it was to be a woman…
At 30 my perspective changed dramatically. I was in the throws taking care of my grandmother, who had been sentenced with pancreatic cancer and 3 months to live (on her 88th birthday no less). During this time I was stretched well beyond the limits I knew for myself. Giving completely to another with zero expectation in return.This is when I became a woman. I will never forget what I saw one particularly difficult night after waiting 15 hours in the ER for my grandmother to get a bed in the cancer ward. We had finally made it to the 3rd floor. The moment they wheeled her bed into the lobby she was swarmed by a team of nurses. These nurses worked with grace, speed, efficiency and most of all compassion. They comforted and cared for her the entire time, as they flipped her from one bed to the next, cleaned her and got her set up. I remember watching this sight and thinking, this, this is what it is to be a woman. Women are a community of compassion and ability beyond belief. I was waking up to my grand welcome into this community.
Now, nearing the age of 40, my understanding of what it is to be a woman grows deeper still. A few years ago I realized that I had been defining “woman” by looking outside of myself. I had yet to internalize myself as a woman. My name is Amie and I am a Woman. Initially it was strange to look at myself in the mirror and say “I am a woman”. I felt uncomfortable because there I was looking at a part of me that had been put on the backburner and unknowingly ignored almost my whole life. This realization started me on a journey towards the divine feminine.
The term womanhood feels duty filled and for the cause of others, which has its time and place. Divine feminine inspires something more sacred, infinite in time and space and calls for honour and devotion. As I deepen my relationship with the feminine energy coursing through my being I begin to learn the importance of self care. I have learned much about forgiveness, compassion and that, as the saying goes - you can’t give from an empty cup. I love that I am living in a time where women all over are waking up to see that it is OK to love yourself and to love yourself before others. I love that I am one of those women. It is my belief at this time that loving yourself well and loving yourself before others allows you to be of better service to all that come into your life.
My self care practices keep be balanced, fill me up, ground me, keep me healthy and vibrating at a high frequency. I notice that when I neglect caring for myself I see changes in my energy level, mood, health, relationships with others and the list goes on. As I learn to pay more attention to the subtle changes that happen in me I am able to get myself back on course easily. I no longer feel guilty for taking ‘me’ time or saying no to others needs, if I am not feeling 100%. I feel that I am able to be a better me in all ways. When I am fully charged with energy, great health, love and spirit I am a better, scratch that, I am a true version of myself in all relationships. I am able to give from a richer place. I am able to react appropriately to life. I am level and grounded. I live in the company of joy and patience. My days feel filled with greater purpose and deep breaths come more naturally.
The self care I practice involves any combination of the following on a daily basis: yoga, meditation, preparing meals, walking, stopping to remind myself to breathe well, taking baths, making time to connect with those I love, noticing what lights me up and seeking more of that, reading, resting, doing things for myself as opposed to the perceived expectations of others (ie. making the bed because I like coming home to a nice looking room, not because my partner will be annoyed that the bed is not made when he comes home.) In general I check in with myself as frequently as possible throughout the day.
I look forward to seeing how my relationship with the idea of being a woman grows in the decades ahead. I am simply in love with the journey.
Join us at the Wise Women Summit starting March 8th, 2021 and gather with like-hearted women, grow your connection to Self and engage in the ancient, collective wisdom of the divine feminine.